Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Where Are You?

Why can't we have that perfect love story we deserve?
We've been through so much...sacrificed a lot, suffered more than enough,
Can't we be happy for once?
And get what is rightfully ours?
Or are we just not allowed to?
Why do we have to suffer a lot of pain, cry lots of bitter tears?
Is it meant to teach us, to let us know that life's not so fair?
We’re tired of waiting...
Coz we've spent forever waiting and hoping....
Hoping for that day, for our happy fairytale ending...
For the joys and laughter that they say true love would bring
But where is it now?
Has it gone? Or was it ever there to begin with?
Is it going to be late and short-lived like everything else that's good in this life?
Where are you?
That guy God made for me!
Show yourself....
I’m tired of waiting...and I won’t be here forever...and I know you won’t be too.
Do you really exist?
Would I still wait for that day you would hold me in your arms?
Would I still long for you, the guy who's meant to say to me "I love you?"
And mean it with all his heart and soul?
The guy who would tell me the kind of “I love you” that tells me... “You are my life”,
“You make my heart beat”
And “I will take care of you...”
The kind of “I love you” that will mean, "I’m not perfect but please, accept me...I am yours...”
Where are you? The guy, they said was destined for me?
Or are they just lying...?
Do I still have to wait for you?
To wait for the time fate would give you to me?
Or is fate playing tricks on us...?
Tell me, give me a sign that you are there
And I’ll survive every trick fate plays, every pain waiting could bring
Show yourself... Oh! I beg you to...Please...
Before I lose grip and let go...
Don’t let me give up
And don’t give up on me
Coz I love you
You make my heart beat
Make me survive this hell without you
I’m not perfect...but please, I’m yours and waiting
Claim me...accept me
My heart...my love...
All of me...


~anamellie and heavenceres~

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

I Choose Life

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Life is weird and ironic


It often ends up tragic


A miracle may make a fairytale ending,


But we have to face trials or we’ll end up drowning…



Why is life so unfair,


Even if we stay in the safe lair?


Why do people cry,


And later on they just sigh?



Most people tend to smile,


Even if they are in exile


But why do people frown,


Even if they own a country and a crown?



Why is life like that?


Why do I feel so bad?


Isn’t life meant to be cherished,


Treasured, cared for, never left unnoticed?



Though life is weird and ironic indeed,


It is still planting your fate and future’s seed


I choose to live life, whatever the trials may be


I choose to live life, though others may not see…





~anamellie~

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

One Day, Someday

One day, someday
We'll see each other somehow
I'll get to see your face again
My heart would beat and leap and mend...


One day, someday
You'll sing love songs for me
With tunes of sweet forever
I would hear your soft voice echo


One day, someday
You'll keep my heart in yours
Then take my hand, we’ll dance all night
Oh! This I long to share with you...


One day, someday
You'll stay here by my side-
We'll laugh and cry,
We'll paste a smile


Never will we say
goodbye...



~anamellie~

Sunday, July 9, 2006

Blue Rose

Rare,
That's what your love is
"Rare as a blue rose," you told me
Rare as the promise you gave me


What rose you give, I
didn't care,
But you gave the blue for it is rare
I touch those roses I adore
As you put them near the house's door



But one day, no rose
arrived
No trace of you was seen by then
The promise you gave echoed inside of me
It broke my heart, shed all of me


A rare promise, a
rare rose,
A rare love that never grows
Why does a rose reflect the feeling that's bad?
You chose blue, it makes me sad


But whatever color a
rose may be
It always wilts and it fades so deep
Just like the love you promised me
It has now wilted like the rose I keep...

~anamellie~

Thursday, July 6, 2006

How Things Work


If I just didn’t see you,
Or laugh or wept for you,
Would my life be still the same?
Would I still believe in fate,
That each of us is said to have?
I’ve thought of happy endings,
But why don’t they exist?
I’ve thought of better fantasies,
And it hurts my heart to know,
That there’s no such thing like it…
Why can’t I just
erase it from my head?
Why can’t I realize
We’re not meant for each other?
Now, I’m in thought
Of what could have been…
And now, I’m thinking
Of how happy the scenes
We’ve together shared in my dreams,
But if each of us is destined to be happy,
Why am I crying?
Why does love have to stay,
For us to both grasp?
But then it moves so fast,
So we can’t just embrace and keep it…
Why does fate move away from us?
Our love is that bittersweet.
It swiftly flies even when we’re asleep.
Things turn out the way
We don’t expect them to.
This is how things work for me and you…
~anamellie~

Tuesday, July 4, 2006

A Way to Live

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Close your eyes and feel the breeze,
Climb into a hundred trees,
Feel the sunset on your face,
Hurry! Quicken up your pace!


Run into the deep dark forest,
Never fear, show courage the largest,
Fly into the highest cloud,
Shout into yourself so loud…


Reach the shining shooting stars,
Dance into the planet Mars,
Sing the tunes of sweet fairies,
They’re hiding through the lovely daisies…


Hold the moon into your palm,
It’s for you to overcome,
Chase the whales and sharks of sea,
Count how many do you see…


Light a candle in the dark,
See your shadow leave a mark,
Count the sands onto the shore,
I know you wouldn’t ask for more...


But here’s the last,
I know it’s fast.
Just feel the flow,
Of life’s unknown show.




~anamellie~

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Fate

Sad anime girl Pictures, Images and Photos

Once.


That’s all it takes


Miss him and it will be


Never again


Fate holds no second chance...


Was it so in our case?


Was it fate?


Missed when you passed my way?


I saw you and I noticed


But did I look away?


The world is so big


For me to see only your face...


Why don’t you pull away


From disguise


And show me love


Every single day of my life?


Wouldn’t it be nice


For us to see each other forever?


But that’s not possible,


Because you’re never there...


Fate only comes once


And I missed that chance


For fate is never repeated


Never to be found again


That’s the bitterness of destiny…



~anamellie and heavenceres~

Saturday, June 10, 2006

How Can I Tell You That I Love You

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She clutched his letter next to her heart. She had read it many times, but the pain she felt was so fresh and the cut in her heart was so deep as if it had only happened this very moment.

This was what the letter said:

Dearest Trisha,

I watched you laugh and sit on the swing under our huge tree. Your auburn hair swayed and danced with the fallen brown leaves against the cold wind of autumn…

And we chased after each other all day during the hot summer, playing tag.

We've been together as friends. We cried, we laughed, and we quarreled just like any other normal friends do. You gave me a smile, enough to make me warm during the cold days of winter, the same grateful smile you give me whenever I pick up flowers for you or get you an ice cream from our fridge, but I could never explain why that smile made my heart do somersaults that day.

It was love... and I knew it had started that time.

I never told you my feelings, and I never told you that you're the reason why sometimes, I couldn't sleep at night… or sometimes, I even lose my appetite. I never could tell you how I liked your name written on my palm. I haven’t got courage to tell you, and I just contented myself by putting this inside my mind, “How can I tell you that I love you, we are just fifteen?”

Our paths got separated. I left you, your tears pouring down your beautiful face. I never meant to make you cry. I hugged you and even wiped away your tears. When I was cut away from our embrace, I looked at your tear-stained face, and I realized that it would be the very last time I would see you. Even though I never want that moment to end, even though I still want to be locked inside your arms, I knew it was really goodbye for us.

But again, I kept my feelings inside my heart even though it was too painful to not tell you how I feel. I couldn’t even tell you how much I love you. How can I tell you that I love you, when I was about to leave?

Even though we had never seen each others faces again, I still thought of you, I still miss you, and I still love you. I reminisce the moments we used to have when we were young. The way we watch the sunset together, the way we wished for snow to be gone, or the way you gazed your chestnut brown eyes at me.

Then the day came when I got to see you again. We bumped at each other, and you smiled. You were with someone. And after minutes of awkward conversation, My heart felt like it was ripping into pieces. I couldn't forgive myself for not confessing I love you before...

Tears rolled down my face as I saw you leave... hand in hand with him. How can I tell you that I love you, when someone's already owning your heart?

I know that before you even read this letter…

She skipped that part, that part where she felt her heart was being crushed by an invisible hand on her chest.

…but I want you to know that I really love you and I’ll still be waiting for you.

Love forever,
Christian


Tears rolled down her wrinkled face as she hated Christian, the same way she had loved him. She didn’t know he had leukemia, not until she was informed that he died because of it.

“If he only told me that he loved me,” was the thing she said before she closed her eyes and died.


~anamellie~

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I tried not to (Prologue)

Here's the prologue of the story I've been too anxious to make. But the demands of college forced me to put this work on hold. I feel so sad but I can't seem to do anything about it. So as a form of making up for the still unfinished story, I'm going to post its prologue here! ^_^
sad flower girl Pictures, Images and Photos

Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory--
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.


Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the beloved's bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.


Percy Bysshe Shelley~

Prologue

It has been 4 years

I found him dead,

Dead... because of me…

We were friends and I never thought that the love Sid gave to me that time would be the love that he soon gave to me when we grew older. I have been telling him not to fall in love with me but he refused. He told me that his love for me was so strong, that no one could break it. He was wrong of course.

And I was wrong too. I thought it would not happen. I thought that I could not love him and most of all, I tried not to love him but at a young age, 19, I started loving Sid and things went in a good way. However, the thing that has been haunting all of me kept coming in and out at the back of my mind.

And after a short span of time, Sid died. A car accident broke his handsome face. His mangled body was found several hours after the accident had happened and the broken pieces of the car could be seen on the highway.

It was an agonizing sight. I came there as soon as I knew what had happened. If only I was with him by the time he was hit by that huge truck, we could have departed this life together.

He was planning to visit his parents the day he died. That day when I decided to stay behind because I thought it would be best if I gave them time to spend together as a family. Because soon, Sid would be married to me. I couldn’t help but weep at that broken dream. We would have spent the rest of our lives together like we had planned, but his accidental death came, and I can’t help but blame myself for what happened to Sid.

His parents telephoned me at once. His weeping mother was the first to call. Minutes after that, his father called. Before I can tell them about the thing that has been haunting me for ages, cowardice sprang inside me. I never had the courage to tell them about it and I promised never to show my face to them again.

I fled with the memory of Sid inside me despite the fact that reminiscing him would make my world stumble... but I couldn’t help it if flashes of memories would cloud my mind.

Best be off, Allodia. I love you”, I sometimes hear his voice speak again. He had said millions of goodbyes to me but all of it was just temporal. The last goodbye was the real goodbye. Perhaps he had never thought that that would be the last words he would say to me.

“I love you,” I often choke back, with tears on my face as I hear his voice replaying on my mind.

I closed my eyes and his face swam before me. I always wanted the way his kind expression smiled at me. No one had taken me by the hand with gentleness like him. Also, I frequently remember the way he covers my eyes whenever he wants to surprise me with flowers or gifts. He does it habitually. If he was here and he would cover my eyes like he always does, he would feel these hot tears flowing down my eyes or maybe there could not be a single teardrop if he was here because the mere memory of his death and absence was what made all these teardrops fall. Nothing made me cry while I was with him. I found my shelter while I was with him. It isn’t home without him.

But now that he is gone forever, no one would do those things again.

It will all be just a dream and Sid’s death would be my nightmare.

Four horrible years had passed since Sid died. I tried to forget him. Four years would be enough to carry that burden deep inside me. I promised myself that I would never love again. Loving is only fine if it does not involve murder.

I live in a hill that has a clear view of the city downtown. I want to be away from the rest of the world. Yes, I have moved on but I was afraid that I will risk another life so I bought a house on top of this hill with the fortunes I inherited and I locked myself away from the people.

I know that I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than to love and be loved in return and witness death in front of me...

You can read the first two chapters of 'I tried not to' at Fictionpress.com.

Please don't forget to drop me reviews! (was I supposed to tell that?? Hmm...)

~anamellie

Friday, May 5, 2006

Never be the same

You used to say

We’d always be together

And my life would never be the same

With you around me...

You love me, you said

I closed my eyes

I have loved you for so long

Everything would never be the same...

Then those fragile promises

Started to be broken

You left me

Alone and hopeless

The sky darkened

Rain washed over my tear stained face

I shivered from the bitter cold

Why’d you have to leave me?

I felt like dying

Every bit of me was crushing

Those promises turned to pain

That can never be washed away by rain...

I’ll always be haunted

By the you that I once loved

The you who promised to be with me

Yet made everything around me collide...

I tried to make good memories without you

But yesterday was different

You were with me

It would never be the same again…

Why did you leave me?

~anamellie

Friday, April 28, 2006

Not Right



I know you’ll leave me,
But I can tell you stay.
I know it’s bitter,
Not to see you every day.


When you left,
you broke my heart.
I still waited
yet, knew we would be apart.


Here I am, all alone,
and tears would fall until I sleep.
My dreams are filled with you and me
Then, I wake and see reality.


I can afford to hope,
Even though you had hurt me.
I’ll tell my self to never stop
until it’s you I will see.


I can’t live if I lose you,
‘Cause here in my mind
I thought or you,
I thought of us…


And even
though they say
my heart’s going crazy,
I’ll never stop loving you,
Even though it’s not right...


~anamellie~