My parents may not own a vast kingdom, or it may not be our obligation to feed a whole country, but I was born with people caring for me and giving me the best. We are not rich but my dad earns enough to provide us with our needs and sometimes our wants. But still, being the eldest child of five, I am expected to help my parents when I graduate from college which is, to put it in a cliché way, so near yet so far.
Near, because I am expected to graduate this March; less than ten months from now. This is to say that I have to qualify for the requirements and comply with the necessary units and credits. Far, because there’s this low self-assurance that I would even be able to graduate at all. Being an Octoberian graduate is not even far from possible in my case. Pessimistic though it may seem, I sometimes doubt about reaching my dreams. If you were in my shoes, you would comparably feel the same feet as mine- cold. You see, I was not an excellent student. You be the judge if I was even an average. Lately, I’ve flunked most exams as often as you can say “Facebook!” and I never made it to the Dean’s list. My grades were a parade of 2’s and sometimes 3’s. Oh, I do get 1’s sometimes. My grades were not really that “balanced” as my mom put it (Haha! Nice Accounting pun). But the greatest shock (or maybe it was an expected reaction after all) was getting my first ever cinco, an ugly 5.0 in my transcripts. Need I say more?
The greatest heartbreak I experienced, despite Gibo not winning the presidential elections (another story), was having to take summer classes to save myself from academic distress and being able to graduate on time. Imagine, I was in my Advanced Accounting class while dreaming of smelling the salty sea air and looking forward to the summer adventure I am so eager to experience only to find myself on the same class weeks later, studying the first chapters the same course has offered me one semester ago. To experience such a back track was heartbreaking.
I and my parents’ discussion led to the finality that I should “balance” my “depreciating” grades and “carry forward” the mistake I had and learn from it. Seriously, learn from it because as it may not permanently burn a hole in the pocket, “it is still an extra expense!” as my dad put it. So there I was, still studying Consolidated Financial Statements, computing for Goodwill, Consolidated Retained Earnings, Net Income etc. while logging on to Facebook once in a while to drool, for lack of an extreme word, at some of my friends’ (the lucky people) photos of their escapades to beach so and so. Don’t get me wrong, having to take summer classes was not really bad in a darkness-engulfing-the-whole-world way. I guess it was because I was not used to engaging myself with academics while the sun blazed its hottest and the temperature warmest. It’s not as if our classrooms are not air conditioned. But still. You get the point.
We were given a maximum of 9 units to “use wisely” this summer. So in consolation, I was able to take two advance subjects in Law to lessen the burden of my first and second semesters come school year 2010. So going to school for a month where most of your school mates are chilling outside the country or chasing butterflies at the province has its plus side too. My friends and family helped me cope with the pressure and sadness of not having the freedom equating the past summers of my life. I was able to survive the academic whirlwind with my close friends who took up summer lessons too. Usually, after classes, we would play truth or dare games that are challenging, fun and worthwhile. Little though it may be, having to see your crush in the corridor can help in the process too. Well in my case- Waah! I do have the tendency to be off-tangent sometimes. Hahaha… So before I start blabbing something quite in the opposite side of the fence, I guess I'll have to put this one to a close:
Even though I wasn’t able to have the summer vacation I ultimately anticipated, I get to know so many things about myself. I grew with me a new wisdom not only offered within the vicinity of our classrooms. I learned something from the experience. I don’t take it bitterly now. I do admit I may have brought that failure upon myself. Come to think of it, I can never be sure if I’d call it “failure”. I’d say it’s a stepping stone, a wake-up call that I believe God has given to me. He has His reasons that only in time I would be able to understand. In retrospect, maybe the most heartbreaking thing that has happened in this unusual summer (really) is when my presidential bet didn’t win the elections. But as I have said, that is another story.
~anamellie, 052810
