Again

Her once blissful heart

is now throbbing with pain
I hope I could love her again

And again, we'll start.




~anamellie, 042120

Clouds

Time flies.
Too many sunrises and sunsets
Have I watched.
Clouds float,
And everyday I say to them,
How I love you and I miss you,
Hoping they would somehow get to you.
Waiting here
In the great sky underneath us,
Seeing birds fly past,
Gives a calming thought
That we're bound to see the same thing
If not at the same time.
Here, the moon is up tonight,
But the sun is shining gloomily where you are.
Clouds- more clouds cover the moon,
As I say to them,
"I'm patiently waiting for you."
Will I grow tired
Of expecting your return?
I will not.
For I'd watch a thousand sunsets more,
Until you come back,
And tell me what the clouds just said.




~anamellie, 010812

Change

Two wrecked strangers,
Brought together:
Two hearts to mend.

Change, they want to
Dream, they both do
Try, they strive to.

Patch the same boat,
Cross the vast sea:
Searching for land...

Cry, weep or wail
Laugh, startling gale
Sing, raise the sail.

Two wrecked strangers
Are no more:
Newly found souls.




~anamellie,  070810

Nobody Else

I was used to you and me,
Walking side by side.
Talking ‘bout our hopes and dreams,
Staring at the skies.

Like stars, your eyes are shining bright
Emerald green, such a pretty sight
You seem to be walking on the clouds
“Why?” I want to ask aloud.

But the question inside just bubbled up
And then just brewed like a decease.
I want to know, “Are you in love?”
But my mouth just couldn’t speak.

I can’t tell "I like you more."
‘Cause to you, I’m just a friend
My emotions will burst into flames!
Hey! Why are you calling me sweet names?

Here I am, out of control
Of my pent up feelings for you.
And my words just stumbled out about
“I need someone I can’t live without.”

With those words I want to hit
My own self as you laughed a fit.
I blushed, embarrassed at that slip,
So shocked at your surprising grip.

You ran your fingers through my hair.
My heart thudded, I gulped some air.
I looked at your face all aglow
With confession that you already know.

You held my hand, said with a voice
That you’ve never ever put to use
“So you’re looking for somebody else

 To love you? Well, let’s start anew.”

As I stood there, speechless, you continued:
“I hope that you could see
That the person you love that loves you
Is nobody else but me.”




~anamellie, 062509

Star

Tonight, I see clusters of stars,
And I ignore those past scars
That brought pain into my heart
Like it's been hit with a dart.

I seek for that special star.
Finding it from afar,
I marvel at it's rarity,
Awestruck at it's familiarity.

My mind steers clear
To let me dream of my cavalier.
I stare at that twinkling light
"Is he coming tonight?"

I wish and hope.
As if feeling myself mope,
I wait for the star to fall,
Beg it with a silent call.

One wish: that's all.
"Please, little star, just fall."
I can't wait forever.
I have only now, however.

I just want my perfect match
My dream, I want to catch,
But I know it is impossible.
For my star is still unreachable.




~anamellie, 061509

Summer

Farewell, sweet summer;
Memories of your warmness,
I will always remember...



~anamellie, 053009

My Gentleman

Shall I forget his raven colored hair, or his full red lips,
Or the warmth I felt on my fingertips as his hands held mine?
How can I not remember his honey brown eyes-
Which sent shivers through me,
As he fixed them on my unbelieving stare?

He swept me off my feet.
My gentleman, so sweet, so honest.
He gave me his heart, with love- the purest.
A fascinating man, with wit, intelligence, wisdom-
My Prince Charming in his humble little kingdom...

He's a heavenly being, with a smile so lovely.
He can breathe life into words, a lover of poetry.
He made me laugh- made my gloomy day seem bright.
And I'd never feel lonely in a cold cruel night.

An almost impeccable man- faithful, responsible even,
A little mysterious, intriguing, handsome, and obedient.
What have I done to deserve someone so fine?
Everything about him is a gift so divine...

And then I wake up to find this gentleman a dream.
What pity it is for you to say and believe
That this gentleman is my unreachable fantasy,
But I have a feeling he is real and somewhere near.

Have you ever seen my dream boy- the perfect man for me?
He's the man I wish to be with- forever I believe.
He has black hair, brown eyes... (see everything above)
Please, If you do, kindly lead him back to me.




~anamellie, 052009

Heart

Silence-
So deafening
that I could only hear my own heart.

Thud. thud. thud.
A steady beat
heard as blood flowed through my veins.

"Are you inside my heart?"
No answer, no whisper, nothing.
Just the sound of the place I want him to be.

My heart-

which pumped the blood-
which traced the soles
of my naked feet.

Grimy-
For I stepped on the cold, damp earth
as it guarded the roots and trees
of the deep dark forest.

I ran-
Waiting to see the specks of light-
my hope, my chance
in a canopy of black.

I cried-
Cried the hardest.
Tears flowed down my tiny stream of tragedy
'cause I'm lost in my own misery.

Someone please find me.
I'm screaming in agony
for the place I want him to be.
But there was no reply...

He's never coming back.
And all I heard was
the last few beats of my heart
and then-
Silence.





~anamellie, 040909

Please Let Me Be Me

Once upon a time, I was born,
Born freely, and once strong.
You used to be my inspiration when I was small,
Even though you don’t seem to bother at all.

Everything you did, so much pleased me,
As if I was seeing a person so saintly.
I imitated you and I dream of being you.
When that time happens? I don’t have a clue.

You told me to follow everything you stated,
Even though my young mind knew, I would be different.
I was challenged by the things you’ve done,
And greeted my own dreams gone.

But all you did was put me down,
And my eyes are my only weapon against your painful words.
I cried lots of tears, when I started to realize
I couldn’t be like you.

I followed a road with a marked path
To be on the same end you have right now.
Then, it was too late to discover that
I couldn’t be like you.

In my struggles to follow you,
I didn’t know how it was to be true.
I became seriously misled,
And the wide path is now narrow instead.

Please, let me be me.
Let me choose the path I wish to take.
Don’t give me markers on the winding path of life.
Make me discover the consequences it has.

You already had your turn in this journey,
Now it must end.
Please, don’t control my own.
Let me start anew…

And make me learn from my mistakes.




~anamellie, 111507

The Melancholic Price

It was years since

I last laid eyes on her.

Now the dreams visit me

In this dark and ruthless chamber.

Memories of her love

whirl in my mind.
Dreams of when she was mine, 

but to her I was unkind.

Time died and flew me by

and the tears fill my eyes-

Remembering

I was the one who said goodbye.

But now she’s gone

and it’s only now,
I realize that

I love her still, somehow.

I've acted so dumb.

I've been so foolish.

I am so stupid.

I'm even boorish.

I hope one day she'll forgive me, she'll stay.

But for now,

this is the melancholic price

I have to pay.

~anamellie, 092407

AN (042120): Rewritten and looks nothing like the original version.

Where Are You?

Why can't we have that perfect love story we deserve?
We've been through so much...sacrificed a lot, suffered more than enough,
Can't we be happy for once?
And get what is rightfully ours?
Or are we just not allowed to?
Why do we have to suffer a lot of pain, cry lots of bitter tears?
Is it meant to teach us, to let us know that life's not so fair?
We’re tired of waiting...
Coz we've spent forever waiting and hoping....
Hoping for that day, for our happy fairytale ending...
For the joys and laughter that they say true love would bring
But where is it now?
Has it gone? Or was it ever there to begin with?
Is it going to be late and short-lived like everything else that's good in this life?
Where are you?
That guy God made for me!
Show yourself....
I’m tired of waiting...and I won’t be here forever...and I know you won’t be too.
Do you really exist?
Would I still wait for that day you would hold me in your arms?
Would I still long for you, the guy who's meant to say to me "I love you?"
And mean it with all his heart and soul?
The guy who would tell me the kind of “I love you” that tells me... “You are my life”,
“You make my heart beat”
And “I will take care of you...”
The kind of “I love you” that will mean, "I’m not perfect but please, accept me...I am yours...”
Where are you? The guy, they said was destined for me?
Or are they just lying...?
Do I still have to wait for you?
To wait for the time fate would give you to me?
Or is fate playing tricks on us...?
Tell me, give me a sign that you are there
And I’ll survive every trick fate plays, every pain waiting could bring
Show yourself... Oh! I beg you to...Please...
Before I lose grip and let go...
Don’t let me give up
And don’t give up on me
Coz I love you
You make my heart beat
Make me survive this hell without you
I’m not perfect...but please, I’m yours and waiting
Claim me...accept me
My heart...my love...
All of me...

~anamellie and heavenceres~

AN(042120): This is an exchange of fun, freestyle attempt in making a poem by sharing our thoughts. Just two teenage girls sending lines back and forth in Yahoo messenger chat. Good times.

I Choose Life

Life is weird and ironic.
It often ends up tragic.
A miracle may make a fairy-tale ending,
but we have to face trials or we’ll end up drowning.

Why is life so unfair

even if we stay in the safe lair?

Why do people cry,
and later on they just sigh?

Most people tend to smile
even when they are in exile.
But why do people frown
even though they own a country and a crown?

Why is life like that?
Why do I feel so bad?
Isn’t life meant to be cherished,
Treasured, cared for, never left unnoticed?

Though life is weird
and ironic indeed,
It is still planting your fate
and future’s seed.

I choose to live life
whatever the trials may be!
I choose to live life
though others may not see.




~anamellie, 110806

One Day, Someday

One day, someday
We'll see each other somehow.
I'll get to see your face again.
My heart would beat and leap and mend.

One day, someday
You'll sing love songs for me.
With tunes of sweet forever
I would hear your soft voice echo.

One day, someday
You'll keep my heart in yours
Then take my hand, we’ll dance all night.
Oh! This I long to share with you.

One day, someday
You'll stay here by my side.
We'll laugh and cry,
We'll paste a smile...

Never will we say
goodbye.

~anamellie, 071206

Blue Rose

Rare.
That's what your love is.
"Rare as a blue rose," you told me,
Rare as the promise you gave me.

What rose you give,
I didn't care,
but you gave the blue for it is rare.
I touch those roses I adore
as you put them near the house's door.

But one day, no rose arrived.
No trace of you was seen by then.
The promise you gave echoed inside of me.
It broke my heart,

shed all of me.

A rare promise.
A rare rose.
A rare love that never grows.
Why does a rose reflect the feeling that's bad?
You chose blue, it makes me sad.

But whatever color a rose may be,
it always wilts

and it fades so deep.
Just like the love you promised me,
it has now wilted like the rose I keep.




~anamellie, 070906

How Things Work

If I just didn’t see you
or laughed, or wept for you,

would my life be still the same?

Would I still believe in fate
that each of us is said to have?

I’ve thought of happy endings,
but why don’t they exist?

I’ve thought of better fantasies,
and it hurts my heart to know
that there’s no such thing like it.

Why can’t I erase it from my head?
Why can’t I just realize
we’re not meant for each other?

Now, I’m in thought
of what could have been.

And now, I’m thinking
of how happy the scenes
we’ve together shared in my dreams.

But if each of us is destined to be happy,
why am I crying?

Why does love have to stay
for us to both grasp?

But then it moves so fast,
So we can’t just
embrace and keep it?

Why does fate move away from us?

Our love is that bittersweet.

It swiftly flies

even when we’re asleep.

Things turn out the way
We don’t expect them to.
This is how things work for me and you.




~anamellie, 070606

A Way to Live

Close your eyes and feel the breeze,
climb into a hundred trees,
feel the sunset on your face,
hurry! Quicken up your pace!

Run into the deep dark forest,
never fear, show courage the largest,
fly into the highest cloud,
shout into yourself so loud!

Reach the shining shooting stars,
dance into the planet Mars,
sing the tunes of sweet fairies.
(They’re hiding through the lovely daisies!)

Hold the moon into your palm.
This is for you to overcome:
Chase the whales and sharks of sea,
Count how many do you see!

Light a candle in the dark,
see your shadow leave a mark,
count the sands upon the shore,
I know you wouldn’t ask for more.

But here’s the last.
I know, I know, it’s fast.
So feel the flow
of life’s unknown show.

~anamellie, 070406

Fate

Once.
That’s all it takes.
Miss him

and it will be never again.

Fate holds no second chance.
Was it so in our case?
Was it fate?
Missed when you passed my way?
I saw you and I noticed,

but did I look away?
The world is so big
for me to see

only your face.
Why don’t you pull away from disguise,

and show me love

every single day of my life?

Wouldn’t it be nice
for us to see each other forever?
But that’s not possible,
because you’re never there.
Fate only comes once

and I missed that chance
For fate is never repeated.
Never to be found again.
That’s the bitterness of destiny…





~anamellie and heavenceres

Never be the same

You used to say
we’d always be together,
and my life would never be the same
with you around me.

You love me, you said.
I closed my eyes.
"I have loved you for so long.
Everything would never be the same."

Then those fragile promises
started to get broken.
Bit by bit, you left me
alone and hopeless.

The sky darkened.
Rain washed over my tear stained face.
I shivered from the bitter cold.
"Why’d you have to leave me?"

I felt like dying.
Every bit of me was crushed.
Those promises turned to pain
that can never be washed by rain.

I’ll always be haunted
by the 'you' I once loved,
the 'you' who promised to be with me
yet made everything around me collide.

I tried to make good memories without you,
but yesterday was different.
(You were with me.)
"It would never be the same again…

...Why did you leave me?"




~anamellie, 050506

Not Right

I know you’ll leave me,
but I can tell you stay.
I know it’s bitter
not to see you every day.

When you left,
you broke my heart.
I still waited
yet, knew we would be apart.

Here I am, all alone,
and tears would fall until I sleep.
My dreams are filled with you and me
then, I wake and see reality.

I can afford to hope
even though you had hurt me.
I’ll tell my self to never stop
until it’s you I will see.

I can’t live if I lose you,
‘cause here in my mind
I thought or you,
I thought of us.

And even though they say

my heart’s going crazy,

I’ll never stop loving you,
Even though it’s not right.

~anamellie, 042806

Someone Else's Heart

A hundred teardrops fell

and countless days have come to night.
Dreams had flown and gone
when I saw you with someone.

A fragile heart had broken
and fantasies had ended.
I never thought that I could last
In a world where true love goes out fast.

Days, weeks and months passed me by.
I realized we’re not meant to be.
I said to myself that I can’t have you
and we have many differences too.

I sought again for love
and love came when I least expected it.
I found it real in old fate’s hand.
I found it true in someone else’s heart.




~anamellie, 112505